6 Ways To Boost Your Confidence

Does confidence seem to be this mysterious characteristic that seems to elude you? Maybe you see it as a negative thing — self-centeredness and arrogance? What is confidence?  The dictionary provides this definition of the characteristic:

A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. 

So how exactly do you grow your appreciation for your abilities or qualities? Here’s a list of six approaches that will help.

Let Yourself Be Less Than Perfect.

How many projects or ideas do you have that are 95% complete? What have you wanted to show to the world, but chose not to because it’s not quite right? Perfectionism is the confidence killer.  Start by looking at the hard work that you did and be proud of it.  The other day, I had a friend tell me that she really wanted to show people her sewing projects on Instagram and that she couldn’t wait until her projects were good enough to post. I told her, “What the heck are you waiting for? It’s never going to be perfect.  I want to see!”

Be Risky.

With greater risk comes greater reward.  The only way to grow your confidence is by doing things that make you uncomfortable.  The discomfort could come from a high probability of failure or the difficulty of the task at hand. Our culture is so averse to failure, but with failure comes some of the greatest lessons. Some of the most successful people know that the faster you fail, the faster you will succeed.

Practice Makes Perfect.

Everything is a learned skill. Most people are scared of public speaking or believe that they just can’t do it.  Not many people realize that it’s a learned skill just like cooking, writing, or anything else. The way to get better at anything is to learn as much as you can about the skill at hand keep practicing it.  If you want to be better at public speaking, hire a coach, scour the internet for how-to articles, join Toastmasters, or practice speaking in front of a small group of friends.

Focus On The Greater Good.

When I was going through my yoga teacher training, I would feel so much anxiety that people wouldn’t like my teaching (or me). One of the best pieces of advice I got from a fellow student was that it isn’t a performance. Focus on what you’re giving to your audience. This can be applied to anything – even if it is a performance.  A musician gives the audience a lot more than just playing music for the sake of playing music. Focus on the benefits that you are providing.

Let Yourself Shine.

When someone compliments you do you immediately disqualify their compliment? For example, “That’s a great dress you’re wearing today”.  “Oh, it’s not mine, it belongs to my friend.”  Or – “You did such a great job on that PR release”.  “Oh, I did it last minute and I had help on it anyway.” Start noticing when you rebuttal compliments and practice replying with a simple, “Thank you!” This simple step will grow your confidence because you are accepting other people’s appreciation of your abilities and qualities.

Take A Look At Your Thoughts.

You are what you think.  If you tell yourself that you aren’t good at something, then the chances are you aren’t going to be good at it and will avoid it.  Be mindful of where you are doing yourself a disservice in your life – how are you at driving, budgeting your money, parenting, or whatever else is important to you.  Maybe you’re not so great at budgeting your money, what do you do? Start with a specific that you are good at.  Do you go to the store with a grocery list? Do you plan out certain expenses? Look for an area that you are doing great at and give yourself a pat on the back.  By focusing and feeling appreciation for what is working, you will be more motivated to get better at the other aspects as well.

Self Compassion.

Last, but probably my favorite is self compassion. This takes observing your thoughts to another level. How kind are you to yourself? Where do you hold onto guilt for something you did where you would have forgiven someone else if they had done the same thing? When was the last time you did something for yourself?  Do you make yourself important on a regular basis? What can you do today to show yourself love? If you want a suggestion, read my article on morning rituals. Simply taking time for yourself is an act of immense self compassion.

Which of these confidence boosters resonates most with you? I’d love to know in the comments below.

Thank you so much for reading!